Recriminations
by Wushu
Summary: //KimSeven// Harry feels the burden of having several deaths on his conscience.


Title: Recriminations  
Author: Samurai Sushi  
Code: K/7  
Rating: PG, Angst  
Archive: Summer's SeventhHeaven, ASC, All others ask.  
Summary: Harry feels the burden of having several deaths on his conscience.  
Disclaimer: I don't own the Star Trek universe or characters, Paramount/Viacom does. I am only playing with the characters. Contains references to 'Warhead'. The Bitaine are mine, as are the dead crewmen; I decided to bring them out to play again. Thanks to Arne who helped me to expand this into the story it is today.

The mission was a failure. Harry Kim's second time as commander of an Away Team was even worse than the first. This time instead of a talking bomb trying to destroy the ship, Harry Kim had gotten his entire Away Team killed.

"Four people. Four people dead because of me." Harry thought to himself as he walked the halls of _Voyager_, trying to find someway to sleep.

It had been almost four weeks since the "incident" that got Harry's team killed.

"With this track record I'll be an Ensign for the rest of my life. Whenever I am truly dead that is." Harry having been classified as dead several times before.

Such as the time when the two _Voyager's_ had both existed in the same timeline, during the Viidian's attack. That time the Harry of this universe had died and he had come from the alternate Voyager with young Naomi Wildman.

He tried to joke with himself, but failed, much like everything he been doing these past months.

During his thoughts he found his way to the Mess Hall. As there was nobody there, he sat at a table near the window and looked out at the stars.

"The stars, they are forgiving of all that we humans do. Except this time." Once again his thoughts drifted to that failed Away mission and the five dead crewmen.

The away mission had been like almost any other, except for their destination.

The planet they were going to was called Bitai, home of the Bitaine. The Bitaine were a war-like people that would trade with other races for technology and information. And _Voyager_ had plenty of both to trade.

The Captain had chosen Ensign Harry Kim to lead the team of six to the planet's surface. The rest of the team included Crewman Alan Sanders, William Johnson, Stan Phillips, and Gabrielle Elliott. This would be their first away mission.

The Captain had chosen the additional members of the team due to the fact that this _was_ their first away mission. The additional members consisted of Sanders and Phillips from security, Johnson from Engineering, and Elliott from Ship's Services. Each of them having spent many years in their respected fields.

The mission had been simple, trade technology and information for a new, more powerful weapons system. They also wanted maps of the surrounding regions and any other information they could acquire. It had all seemed so simple at first.

As the mission progressed and they acquired information and technology, everything had been fine. As they acquired the technology, they would transport it to _Voyager_ and the information went into the tricorders.

Everything had run smoothly until they were about to return to the ship.

The Away team had moved to an isolated location outside of the city to Beam-up. The location was chosen by Tuvok due to the fact that the Bitaine didn't have any transporter technology, and it would be a great advantage to them if they acquired it. As they were about to call for Beam-up, an unknown attacker fired at them.

There was little cover for the Away team to hide behind, but they used what there was.

Ensign Harry Kim, the leader of yet another possibly failed mission had to decide what to do.

"Elliott." He yelled over the phaser fire. "Take Phillips and Jacobs and circle around to their right flank. Johnson and Sanders will converge on their left, and I'll draw their fire. Understood?"

"Yes sir." She stated even as she returned fire to the unknown attackers. "Phillips, Jacobs, come with me." With that the three of them slipped off to the right while Johnson and Sanders went left.

That only left Harry to draw the enemy's fire.

"Well, it's now or never." He thought just before he made a run across the open field to cover on the other side. As he reached the other side, he had managed to draw all of the enemy's fire.

The one hitch to the plan was that Harry would not be able to back up his team if they needed him. From his position, Harry could see the entire battle. He saw Crewman Elliott stun one of the attackers.

That was when all hell broke lose.

The terrorists had a bomb with them, and unfortunately they were suicidal.

As the two teams on the flanks surrounded the enemy's main position, the bomb was activated. Harry saw all of this and ran to stop the team, but it was too late. He couldn't get there in time, nor could he get an open communications channel due to the interference of the charging bomb.

The terrorists, seeing that they were unable to overwhelm the Away Team, activated the time-delay bomb in hopes of taking the Away Team and the lost technology with them, the delay was set for 5 seconds. They also hoped that if they lost this fight, the bomb would prevent them from being captured.

The bomb went off, killing the attackers and the Away team. The only way that Harry survived was that he was blown clear by the blast's shockwave. He however didn't make it through without injury.

When the explosion subsided the only living being was a very hurt Harry Kim. When _Voyager_ registered the explosion, the scanners said that that was where the Away team was.

On the bridge, Janeway, Chakotay, and Tuvok were the only Senior officers on duty.

Upon registering the explosion, Chakotay took over Ops from the Ensign manning it in Harry's absence.

"Chakotay, find the Away team and beam them up. Now!" Captain Kathryn Janeway ordered even as her First Officer was on his way to Ops.

"I've located their Commbadges. But I'm only reading 1 lifesign." Chakotay announced from Ops. Upon hearing this the entire bridge crew, except for Tuvok, let out a disbelieving gasp.

"Beam the bodies and the lifesign to Sickbay. Commander you have the bridge." Janeway announced on her way to the turbolift.

"Yes Ma'am." Was all Chakotay could say.

In sickbay, the Doctor was working to save Harry Kim's life.

"Doctor?"

"Captain, I've put Harry into stasis until I can be sure of all his injuries. But I do know for certain that he has a lot of internal bleeding and damage. I'll start on the repairs as soon as I know that he's 100 stable." The Doctor said with a resigned sigh.

At that point, Tom Paris, who had been called as soon as Harry had been beamed in, entered Sickbay.

Seeing the state that the in stasis Harry was in, he took a beat before he continued to the Doctor's side to help. At the Doctor's nod, he went over and started to monitor Harry's vital signs.

"I'm sure you'll do all that you can Doctor. Keep me informed of his condition. What about the others?" She asked knowing and dreading the answer.

"They were all killed instantly by the blast. However their tricorders weren't destroyed, very damaged and scarred, but still usable. So I sent them so Lieutenant Torres. I must say that these new alloy tricorders are very strong. They held up to the blast. They were lucky that the bomb was a concussion explosive, rather than an EMP which would have destroyed the tricorders and made it difficult to beam them up."

"Indeed they were lucky. Thank you Doctor, let me know as soon as he wakes up. I'll be sure to tell B'Elanna and Seven how the tricorders held up.

The Doctor just nodded and went back to monitoring Ensign Kim. After the Captain had left, the doors to Sickbay opened and in walked Seven of Nine.

"What can I do for you today Seven?" Asked the Doctor, keeping one eye on Kim at all times.

"Nothing Doctor, I have come to check on Ensign Kim."

"Well, as I told the Captain, he has internal bleeding and a lot of damage. As soon as I'm sure that he's stable, I'll repair the damage." The Doctor said as he was reading Harry's vital signs off of a PADD in his hand.

"Will he live?" Seven asked this with an unnoticeable tremor in her voice. If anyone else had said it, they would have known it was due to fear that Harry would die.

"We can only wait to find out. Now if you'll excuse me I need to return to the Ensign. He has a lot of surgery ahead of him." He said with sorrow at not being able to reassure Seven.

"Very well, I'll return tomorrow." With that Seven of Nine left the sickbay.

"Women!" The Doctor muttered as the doors closed. He looked at the unconscious form on the table before him, "They have so many emotions, and yet Seven didn't even recognize her fear that you might die."

The Captain had called a staff meeting a week after the incident, set for 1500. The only two absent were Harry and the Doctor, who was using the Emergency Medical Channel to attend the meeting. The day after Harry had been beamed up to _Voyager_ a ship wide announcement had been made announcing the deaths of four crew members. It was also announced that Harry was in surgery and an update would be given when one was available.

"It seems as though they were going to ransom to Away team for technology from _Voyager_. When the Away team defended themselves, the attackers changed their plan to kill the away team and take any technology that they had. This however failed due to Mr. Kim's actions." Tuvok stated in his stoical way.

"Any indication what group they're with?" Chakotay asked from where he sat.

"They are apparently part of an organization to overthrow the government."

"What did the government say when you told them about this faction?" Captain Janeway asked with steel in her voice.

"Well, they would like any information we could gather from their bodies."

"Well, then give what little information we have to them, and ask them why we weren't told about these groups before we sent a team down." Janeway said with a little humor in her voice, but not much.

At Tuvok's nod the Captain started to go on with the meeting, but was interrupted by Chakotay.

"I can answer that one Captain. They told me that this is a new group and that they had no information on them. as to not telling us, they didn't feel that we were in any danger."

When Chakotay said this Tom let out a derisive snort.

"Thank you Chakotay. Find out how soon before we can leave this planet and get us out of here as soon as you can. Now, Doctor, how is Harry?" The last part she asked without the steel in her voice, only worry was evident.

"He has been stable for the past 10 hours, I have repaired his injuries and he should recover in no time at all." The Doctor stated with some happiness in his voice, but not much.

"Well, that's good news. Thank you Doctor." Janeway said. As she was turning to move on to the next item the Doctor stopped her.

"However, the bad news is that Mr. Kim has suffered head trauma and is in a coma. I don't know when, if ever, he will wakeup."

After the Doctor said that, there wasn't much of a meeting left, so Janeway dismissed them.

As the meeting broke up, those in attendance were so shocked by the news that Harry might never wakeup, they had to go see the Doctor and Harry right away.

There were three of the attendees of the meeting who went straight to Sickbay to see Harry. They were Tom Paris, B'Elanna Torres, and Seven of Nine.

As they entered they all saw a comatose Harry laying on the biobed. As they moved towards Harry, the Doctor just looked up.

"Doctor, will we know if comes out of the coma?" B'Elanna asked.

"Only when he fully awakes will we know. Until then, all we can do is wait." With that he turned from them and went back to his duties.

Tom, B'Elanna, and Seven only stood watching Harry for a few moments longer, then all but Seven left. When B'Elanna left for engineering she was not in the best mood, the news that they would have to wait until Harry came out of the coma naturally, if he ever did, didn't help her mood any. Tom decided that her engineering staff could handle her temper, however Tom did decide that he would give B'Elanna a wide berth. Seven stayed by Harry's bed for more than an hour after the others left. The Doctor had to order her to regenerate to get her to leave, but finally, with one last long look at Harry, she left.

As he slowly started to gain consciousness, he noticed a weight on his chest. As he struggled to open his eyes, he became aware of his surroundings. He was in sickbay, again. But what really surprised him was a blonde mass of hair on his chest. He thought that he must be dreaming, Seven lying on his chest? That had been one of his fantasies for a long time. As he woke up further, he noticed B'Elanna and Tom sleeping in chairs on the other side of the biobed, that had the instant effect of snapping him into the realization that this was really happening.

As he was looking around, the owner of the blonde hair started to wake up. As she did, she turned and looked Harry straight in the eye.

"Morning sleepy head." Was all he could say to the beautiful blonde looking at him. On top of that he couldn't keep the smile off his face, as Seven yawned like a small child waking up from a nap.

"I'm sorry Ensign, I must have fallen asleep. I assume it was my humanity reasserting itself." She tried to explain.

Harry just smiled.

Just then the Doctor walked into the room.

"Ah, Mr. Kim. I'm so glad you decided to join us. How's your head?" He asked with all the professionalism he could, and achieved it masterfully. The reason was because Seven had fallen asleep with her head on Harry's chest and her arms thrown possessively over him.

"It hurts a little. How long have I been asleep?" He asked, looking at the now totally awaken Seven, who had moved back to sit in the chair with her hands in her lap. He had been thinking only a few days.

"You have been a coma for three weeks, we didn't know if you would wakeup. What is the last thing you remember?" He asked as he ran a scan of Harry.

"Last thing I remember was the fight on Bitai, then an explosion. Then nothing." He said with a small shake of his head, and a mild case of shock on his face. Three weeks? That he couldn't believe.

By this time, Tom and B'Elanna had awaken and were eager to talk to Harry.

"Hey buddy, how ya feeling?" Tom asked.

"Aside from the headache, pretty good. I've never felt this rested before. Was I really in a coma for three weeks?" Harry asked with some concern.

"Yes you were. I … we were worried about you." Seven said, hoping that no one had heard her slip.

But Harry had heard it, however he let it pass, at least for now.

"You guys were worried about me? That makes me feel better." He then noticed that he was the only patient in sickbay. "Doc, what happened to the rest of the away team?"

When he said that, the smiles disappeared from all their faces, even the small makings of a smile disappeared from Seven's face.

"They're all dead buddy. You're the only survivor." As Harry's face fell, Tom quickly said. "Harry, I'm so sorry."

"They're all dead?" He asked, not believing.

"Yes Mr. Kim, you're the only survivor." The Doctor told him.

"Doc, can Harry leave yet?" Tom asked him.

"Let me run a few more test to make sure he is fully recovered, then you can pick him up at this time tomorrow." The Doctor said.

"Harry I'm so glad that you woke up. Now you can pay me all those rations you owe Tom. He owes me a dinner. You really do need to learn how to play pool." B'Elanna tried to cheer him up, she succeeded, slightly.

"Now if you'll all leave the Sickbay, I'll finish the tests on Mr. Kim."

Needless to say, they all left.

The Doctor started and finished his test within 20 minutes, but kept Harry under surveillance for the rest of the day. At the same time the next day Harry was free to go.

As Tom, Harry, B'Elanna, and Seven made their way to the messhall, Harry was filled in on the past three weeks.

While Harry was sleeping, _Voyager_ had found a small unstable wormhole that had taken eight years off their journey. This proved to Harry how long he had really been in a coma, normally wormholes and other spatial anomalies were his field. The memorials for the four dead crewmen were held two days after they had left the Bitaine homeworld. It turns out that after the explosion, Voyager had left immediately to prevent any other attacks on her crew.

All through lunch Harry couldn't help but think of the five people that he had gotten killed. After lunch he went back to his quarters to sleep.

Harry was given the next few days off to make a full recovery. The next night Harry had trouble sleeping.

The deaths of the away team, played heavy on his subconscience.

His dreams were plagued by the battle playing over and over again. The same thing happening every time.

The away team taking cover behind the rocks, and the battle playing out the same as before. The fight always ending in one way, the four members of his team dying, and him not able to do anything.

All through the dreams, brief snippets of conversations and comments drifted through. Each snippet realizing another crewman's thankfulness at his recovery. After an hour or two, both the dreams and the conversations woke Harry from his tortured sleep, for which he was thankful.

Having not been able to sleep he started to walk the halls and think about the away mission.

The mission was a failure. Harry Kim's second command of an Away Team was even worse than the first. This time instead of a talking bomb trying to destroy the ship, Harry Kim had gotten his entire Away Team killed.

"Four people. Four people dead because of me." Harry thought to himself as he walked the halls of _Voyager_, trying to find someway to sleep.

It had been almost four weeks since the 'incident' that got Harry's team killed.

A week was due to his recovery from surgery, the other 3 were when he was in the coma. All in all, his weeks had been restful in body only, as his dreams showed, his mind was far from rested.

During this his thoughts he found his way to the Mess Hall. As there was nobody there, he sat at a table near the window and looked out at the stars.

"The stars, they are forgiving of all that we humans do. Except this time." He repeated sadly to himself. His reflections on what happened since the assault were dark ones.

He decided that he didn't want to talk to anyone, so he left the messhall to return to his quarters.

On his way to his quarters he met no one. Even thought his thoughts were dark ones, his mind kept returning to the sensation of waking up with Seven in his arms, so to speak.

"Computer, play music file Kim Beta 4." He commanded upon entering his quarters.

The usual beep that announced the computer was complying sounded. Harry went to his couch to lay down. He shortly fell asleep. Only the sound of a voice woke him from his sleep.

:Seven of Nine to Kim.:

"Kim here, what is it Seven?" he asked, not totally awake.

:Ensign, I have been ringing your door for the past 2 minutes. Would you please open your door:

"Sure Seven, hold on. Kim out."

As he went to his door to let her in, he yawned and thought about why she would come to his quarters at, looking at the chronometer, 0200 in the morning.

When he opened his door he found Seven standing in the corridor, holding a small box.

"Seven, what can I do for you?" He asked before he remembered his manners. "First, come in please." He moved aside to allow her to enter.

She went over to his table and set the box on top. She then turned and looked at him. Harry could tell she was nervous.

"What can I do for you Seven?" he asked again.

"I have come to give you a gift." She said in her full Borg mode.

"You came to give me a gift at 0200? Why didn't you do it later?" He asked, even more exhausted now that she was here. The main reason for his exhaustion was being awaken at 0200 hours in the morning, not the person who had awaken him.

"I didn't want you to be around anyone else when I gave you this." She turned to the table and picked up the box and handed it to Harry who was standing beside her.

"What is it?" He asked as he was opening it.

Inside the box was a small picture frame, in the frame was a picture of Tom, B'Elanna, Harry, and Seven, at one of Neelix's parties. Seven was smiling at Harry.

"I didn't even see Neelix take this picture." Harry said, stunned by the gift from Seven. The picture was taken after Harry had beaten Tom at a game of pool, one of a few games that Harry had won. After the victory they had all toasted Harry's victory, even Seven, who had a glass of nonalcoholic champagne.

If the picture was any indication, Seven had been happy for Harry after he won the game.

If the picture were any indication, it would appear that Seven may have had feelings for Harry before the away mission, and the smile was a small way of showing them.

"I know, after he took it I asked him for two copies, one for you and one for me." She said quietly.

"Seven, why did you give me this?"

"I've noticed the way you've been acting since you woke up, and I thought someone needed to cheer you up."

"Why? There has to be another reason. You're nervous Seven, why?" He was suspicious now.

"When you were in the coma I was afraid that you wouldn't wake up. During those three weeks, I had the chance to see what my life would be like with out you in it. I didn't like the sensations that were created. I did realize one thing." She said, allowing more and more of her emotions to show.

"What one thing did you realize?" Harry asked, he couldn't help it. He had to know what this beautiful woman was thinking.

"I realized that I .. that I .. that I have … feelings, for you." The last part was said in a whisper.

"Feelings? What kind of feelings?"

"I believe I have experience what humans call, fear, anxiety, loneliness, and love."

Harry was stunned, did she just say that she loved him? His jaw must have dropped for she moved closer and closed it with her hand.

"What did you just say?" he managed to ask after several breaths.

"I said that I love you, Harry."

His first name, and she said she loved him. He had to sit down or fall down. As he moved to sit on the couch, she moved with him and sat beside him.

"Seven, do you know what you said? Are you sure? You might be dreaming. Hell, _I_ might be dreaming." Harry pinched himself to make sure he wasn't dreaming.

"Yes I do, I have stated my love and devotion to you. And no you are not dreaming, and neither am I. Do you not feel the same about me?" She asked perplexed. "Lieutenant Torres told me that you have 'had a thing for me' since I came onboard. Is this not true?" This last part she asked with a little bit of fear.

"When did B'Elanna tell you this?" He was more curious that stunned now, the note of fear in her voice worried him.

"The second week that you were in the coma. I had been going to sickbay when ever I was off duty, I even fell asleep on you as I did the day you awoke."

"Seven, everything that B'Elanna told you was true. I have loved you since you came onboard and…" He took a deep breath. "…and I still do. I think that I would always love you, even if you didn't love me."

When he said that she couldn't help herself, she had to hug him. And hug him she did.

When they broke from the hug Seven asked, "Can I stay here tonight?"

Harry just smiled and said "Sure, you can stay here any night."

So together they leaned back into the couch and fell asleep in the arms of the person that they loved.

Over the next few days Seven and Harry spent more and more time together. Together they went to the holodeck. They watched vids in their quarters, and listened to music. They had a good time together, and Harry wouldn't have traded a single moment with Seven, not even if they could be home in the alpha quadrant. Yet the thought that Harry had caused the deaths of five crewmen still lingered in his mind. Everyone told him that the deaths weren't his fault, but it still felt that way.

Chakotay had come to him and talk to him about the 'Survivor's Guilt' that he was experiencing. When that didn't help, Chakotay took Harry on a Spirit Quest. Needless to say Harry didn't find the answers he was looking for, on top of that his spirit guide didn't even appear.

The Captain had come to see him about the incident. She tried to tell him that it wasn't his fault, the same thing that Chakotay had tried to tell him. Something about the way the Captain had explained everything to him had made him feel slightly better, but not much.

The crew had been very accepting of his and Seven's decision to 'change the nature of their relationship.' Many had been disappointed when the two most available people on the ship had suddenly become unavailable. Aside from this small whine, everyone had been accepting.

However, the guilt that he felt was something that wouldn't go away with time. Like Tom Paris, he'd carry this till his dying day. And that may be sooner than anyone thought.

Tom tried to get to Harry to talk to him, but they were on conflicting schedules and didn't get a chance to talk, not even one second.

Guilt is a monster that stalks you till the end of your days, when it catches you it devours you whole. Such was the case of one Ensign Harry Kim. Harry's life had changed since the deaths. Now he was dating Seven of Nine, his work was getting done faster, and everyone felt happy for Harry, even Seven.

Yet Harry was planning something, something no one would ever want to know. Least of all the Captain or Seven.

Harry had gone to the quarters he now shared with Seven and left a message to be played after he had completed his "mission".

Now he had to go to Cargo Bay 2 where he would complete his "mission".

In the Cargo Bay, Harry took out his phaser and told the computer to record one final log.

He had come to the Cargo Bay because it was one of the most isolated area of the ship, now that Seven had moved into shared quarters with him.

"Computer, record personal log for today."

"Recording." The computer replied.

"Today, I'll make amends to the spirits of the dead. Then they can rest, as can I. As for Seven, I have enjoyed all the time we have spent together, and I want you to know that I truly love you. I wouldn't trade a single moment we've spent together for anything. I'm also wanted to say I'm sorry that I won't be there for you in the future. Please remember me the way I was, before the incident. Computer, end log."

For Harry, the guilt of the deaths has been hard. He tried to talk it over with Chakotay, he tried a sprit quest, and he even tried one of the 'holoshrinks' on the holodeck. Nothing helped. The voices of the dead crew came to him both, in the middle of the night and when he was awake. The voices were driving him insane, and he needed to silence the ever present voices. And the only way to silence them forever, was to silence himself.

As Harry was setting his phaser to stun, for even a phaser on stun at close range can kill, Seven walked into the Cargo Bay, her entrance marked by the pneumatics of the door.

"Harry? What are you doing here?" Seven asked, perplexed.

"Uh, hi Seven. Nothing, I'm not doing anything." He said with some fear and anxiety.

"Then why are you in here with a phaser?" She asks, thinking he might be playing a joke of some kind.

"No reason .. no reason at all." This was said with no conviction at all. "Seven, I have a question for you."

"Yes, Harry. What is the question?"

"Seven, do you love me? I need to know, in truth, do you love me?" He asked with some resignation and fear that her answer would be negative.

At this point, Seven had moved to within inches of Harry. Together they were standing in the middle of the Cargo bay.

"Harry, I do love you, you are the only person who ever loved me for the person that I am. And for that I love you, will love you till you die." Thus she spoke from her heart.

"Seven, I will love you till the day that I die." With that he stepped back. As he moved to place the phaser at his temple, he reflected on all the time they had spent together. Their dinners together had been great. The dates to the holodecks had been the best part. The dates were all to romantic destinations, Hawaii, New York, and several areas on alien worlds. In those few seconds, Harry hesitated as he remembered the good times.

In those few seconds hesitation, and seeing that Harry meant to kill himself, Seven launched herself at him, knocking the phaser away from his head just as it fired. Seven grabbed him in a hug and didn't let go. She grabbed him so that he couldn't kill himself, and leave her alone once again. She didn't let go till they were beamed, by security into Sickbay.

In Sickbay, Harry was given a mild sedative until Tuvok, the Captain, and Chakotay arrived., Tom and B'Elanna were on an away mission to gather foodstuffs with Neelix. When they arrived, the Doctor administered a restorative so that the new arrivals could speak to Harry.

"Ensign Kim, how are you?" The Captain asked as Harry regained consciousness.

"I am feeling a little better. Captain, I'm sorry." He stated slowly.

"For what Harry?"

"For disrupting the operations of this ship, and disturbing you when you're resting."

"Harry, you didn't disrupt me, nor did you disrupt the ship's operations. But if you were having problems or were depressed, why didn't you come to Chakotay or me, or even Seven?" The Captain asked with a trace of pity in her voice.

"I talked to Chakotay, but the talks and the Spirit Quest didn't help. I mean I didn't even see my spirit guide. But Captain I tried so hard to function properly, but I failed." Harry hung his head in shame, after almost breaking down in tears in front of his Captain.

"Why did you try to kill yourself? Did you know that I can't live without you?" Seven said before anyone else could ask him any questions. She had spoken with a tremble in her voice and fear on her lips.

"Yes Ensign, the question that we're all asking is why?" the Doctor decided to jump in and question Harry.

"The Away team. I see them in my sleep. I see them when I'm awake. I always see them. They want me…" He had to pause from the emotions of the visions. "They want me to remember them and make their deaths not be in vain. They want me to get _Voyager_ home. And Seven I do know that you love me, I even left you a message."

"Why does that bother you? what the voices are saying. I thought that you wanted to get _Voyager_ home." The Captain asked.

"I do, I do want to get Voyager home, but they are always there. Always in my mind. The voices are just too much. I wanted to silence them. The only way I could think of to do that was to.. Well you know." His desperation was becoming apparent to everyone present.

"Well, I don't know what we can do for you Ensign. Doctor any ideas?" Janeway went back to being "Captain" instead of "mother."

"Actually Captain, I do have some ideas." The Doctor said with confidence. "But first off, I can give you something to relieve the voices. And I can recommend that you get counseling, either from one of the programs in the main databanks or from me. There are several very good programs, I can give you a list of them if you would like."

"That would be great Doc, thanks." Harry said with genuine, heartfelt thanks.

"And now Ensign, I recommend that you spend some time with Seven. You scared her you know." The Doctor said even as he gave Harry an injection to take away the voices.

"I agree Doctor. Ensign Kim, you are given the next 2 days off to straighten this out with Seven. Seven, you are also off duty for the next 2 days. Understood?"

"Yes Captain." Was the echoed reply from Seven and Harry.

"Very well, Doctor, is there anything else?" the Captain asked, concern for her Ops officer evident.

"No Captain, but if I may say, anybody who isn't sick, get out of my Sickbay." The Doctor said with mock ferocity. Needless to say, they all complied.

Several days later, Harry had settled all his affairs with Seven and the crew. He had come to terms with the information that the deaths weren't his fault, and that nothing he could have done or said could have prevented their deaths. Even though he as leader of the away team was responsible for the safety of the team, and the deaths may be on his mind, he did all that he could and he was lucky that more people hadn't died. He had also accepted that even though he tried to commit suicide, the crew didn't think any less of him. As for Seven, things with her were much better than they were before, since they professed their love for each other, their understanding of each other had grown ten fold. In the week that they were given off, (Harry needed to recover and fit into the crew again, and Seven needed to spend time with Harry.) they planned to spend the time in the holodeck and their quarters.

Seven, having realized what her life would be like without Harry, had started to develop a closer relationship with Harry. Seven told Harry that they were now going "steady," a word no doubt picked up from Tom Paris. At this point in time, Harry's life was going the best that it had ever been.

Seven, boring with nothing but space dust for company, months later things were still going well for Harry and Seven. They had moved in together and had gotten bigger quarters. The therapy sessions were helping to relieve the voices and his depression. In fact, things were going so well that Harry decided that he would change the nature of his and Seven's relationship even further.

Harry had invited Seven to a party in Sandrine's to celebrate the successful integration of the Bitaine weapons system with Voyager's original system, a project which was started as soon as _Voyager_ had obtained the new systems. It turned out to be harder that originally thought, but in the end everyone decided that it was worth it. At this point, the weapons system was the most powerful than it had even been. The entire crew was in great spirits.

Harry had reserved a table for them with candles on it, and it portrayed a very romantic atmosphere, something hard to do in the chaos that was Sandrine's. the table was nestled into a quiet corner of the bar.

As the party got underway, Harry and Seven entered and were lead to the table by Sandrine herself.

After they had their salads and were working on the entrée. Seven noticed that Harry was nervous.

"Harry, why are you nervous?" She asked, hoping that she might be able to help him.

"Seven, we've been dating for what six months now?" he asked, waiting for confirmation.

"Seven, we've been dating for Seven months." She replied.

He nodded at her correction of their time together.

"Well, the time we've spent together has been wonderful. Don't get me wrong, I mean we've had a few bumps along the way, like the phaser incident. But now, I want to... I wanted to ask you. Hell, I can't think of any romantic way to say this but," He got down on one knee in front of her. At that point all conversation and activity stopped. "Seven, will you make me the happiest man in the world and marry me?"

The assembled took a collective intake of breath.

"Harry, I would love to make you the happiest man in the world. Marrying you would make me the happiest woman in the world."

"You mean…"

"Yes Harry, I will marry you." As the newly engaged hugged, the audience let out their collective breath.

"Well, I thought that this would be a dull party, but you two seemed to have made it interesting." Joked Tom Paris as he and B'Elanna entered.

Harry replied by saying. "Well, what do you expect? My life isn't going to get any worse, so it can only get better. Don't you think?" This question was meant to be a rhetorical, and everyone accepted it as one, even Seven. "So Tom, when are you and B'Elanna getting engaged?"

At this small overcite in their otherwise already married relationship, even B'Elanna blushed. Harry had finally managed to get both Tom and B'Elanna, and it felt good.

"Well, then I propose a toast." The Captain having moved to stand next to her Ops officer, suggested, an idea which was welcomed by everyone there.

"To Harry Kim and Seven of Nine, may their life together always be full of bliss and love." As one, the assembled took the required sip. After the sip, Harry and Seven were congratulated by every member of the crew, even Tuvok.

And thus did Harry Kim and Seven of Nine, begin to start their new lives together.

THE END. -


End file.
